Before I go on just let me clarify certain things.
First I know for sure that not all Malay men are similar.
This may seem as Racial profiling and men may be generally the same but I don't hear much stories regarding their counterparts in other races (as I am not that exposed).
And that I may be wrong as I am still young and very much inexperienced.
My personal observation..
I notice that recently,
Malay men and by that I mean married Malay, a rather alarming number have a tendency to cheat or at least flirt around, minimal. It is somewhat normal that I hear stories that these men have affairs, well to be more precise not affairs but have some sort of fling or one night stands. As the Malay saying goes "makan luar rumah".
Many of which comes the type of men that still clings to the lifestyle and activities they do when they were still single. At first it may be as harmless as hanging out with friend in mamak or playing a game of Futsal with fellow friends. Then it somewhat progressed into picking up chicks in clubs and bars and even at the workplace. It has become a norm that I hear stories of married men flirt around. Which though quite harmless and ironic (as I am of the same gender) that I find that there is something really wrong in this scenario.
Boys will always be boys and that flirting around is I guess a given thing. But lately after seeing alot of divorce cases especially amongst young couples it made me think. Before this I would either not take side, blame both of the couple and sometimes (yes I was somewhat biased) the wife. But now, I daresay, if there is 10 divorce cases in the syariah court 8 cases (or even 9) can be easily blamed on the husband. Either the husband is a dick, player or just plain lazy arse who just can't be bothered to provice for his family.
You see, even with my limited (and I mean very limited) experience regarding relationship once a relationship goes to the point of commitment, women tend to be very comitted and loyal to that relationship which is a general knowledge. So when talking about marriage, women are very unlikely to screw around or break it off. They are very loyal and committed to it because to them it seems that they have more things to lose if the marriage fails. And in the Malaysian context I have seen several cases where the women are willing to close one eye to their husbands misdeeds or fault for the sake of the marriage. Malaysian women generally have a quite impressive tolerance to their husbands err or dodgy dealings one could say. So I came to the conclusion that when there is a divorce especially among the Malay couples than the husband must have screwed up really-really well. What make me even amazed (if that is even the right word) is the number of divorce cases among malay couples.
I don't work with any NGO or some statistical body so my observation which can be questionable are based on stories I hear and surprisingly from the radio. One of the most popular morning radio show would be the Sinar Pagi on Sinar FM which is a Malay radio show. They would have callers telling their stories about marriage problems and such and I am somewhat amazed at the tolerance of some of these wives. They are angry at their husband for playing or fooling around yet can at the same time forgive him completely if he just would stop it. Some just resort to rant or tell their sob story at the radio and pray that someday their husband would come back to the right path.
Even amongst friends I notice that these young men are somewhat got married before their mentality is ready for marriage. Many want to continue their single lifestyle and seem marriage as an insurance or a place when one can fall back to when things don't seem to go to their way. Which is a very sad thing. Let's not talk about cases where long term marriage get's screwed because after the husband succeeds and becomes wealthy after all the years of hardships decided to have a fling with a young actress of some sort. Ditching your wife after she has been through thick and thin after all these years and when the hard work has come to fruition you decide to share it with some young leggy broad is not something to be proud of. Then there is also the lazy men who are more interested in chasing that dubious dreams like getting that big contract by client entertaining and business networking. Always too shoddy to do the grunt work and leave the wife as the provider for the family. Whatever happened to good old hardworking Malay Family Man who had always been the rock. The strict diciplined father...
But hold on,
it get's even better. As my logic thoughts goes on and on I find it even more amazing that....
There are always, in any cases there would always be the willing female.
There would always be some young girl who would fall or these married men, who would date and believe in their dubious dreams. Girls or young ladies with career that can cleanse all of their scepticism and suspicion by a simple sweet talking. Seriously these girls can be very cheap and by that I mean very low cost to maintain, just words, forget the sexy gold digger seductress all it takes are just a few minutes in the phone or some heart melting SMS. They actually fall in love with these men.
Is there really a shortage of men in Malaysia?
Or is it a general principle that married men are much more attractive.
I mean take a look at that successful female singer who decided to marry a married men who is older than she is. He ditch his wife to marry this young lovely lady, the wife who was with him before he becomes rich and sucesfful after all those years. Didn't she thought about that, and when they were courting he obviously is a married men.
this is just a narrow selective observation and not all Malay men are like this.
It's just that I was wondering you know, and please feel free to prove me wrong.
You know what, it may be easy for me to write this now but who knows, maybe someday I might turn into someone like that. You never know, seriously. I may be all gung ho right now but I guess temptation is always there.
I hope I wont...........
The Forest for the trees
3 days ago