Sinatra_Z - Nukilan Pagi Buta

Benih bertahun dahulu disemai,
dengan harapan hasil mendatang,
hampa duka semua digadai,
kerana gilakan takhta dijulang.

Pahlawan berani menabur jasa,
datuk laksmana kurniaan sultan,
pangkat gelaran apalah guna,
kalau kuasa tidak ditangan.

Berkokok kuat si ayam jantan,
gagah berani juara sabung,
cukup hebat tumbangkan lawan,
tapi sekadar jaguh kampung.

Pendekar Melayu silat diatur,
jurusnya cantik jiwanya kental,
apalah guna jaguh bertempur,
kalau akhlaknya cetek otaknya dangkal.

Resahkan Perempuan,
ku bersyair pujangga,
resahkan bangsa,
kelu seribu bahasa.

Sinatra_Z - Ali, Ah Chong and Muthu

Penulisan terbaru di Malaysian Insider

Ali, Ah Chong and Muthu

July 14, 2010

JULY 14 — Now here’s the thing: I may be branded a heretic for saying this but I actually dislike Yasmin Ahmad’s movies. You know all those Chinese boy/Malay girl lovey-dovey and “Mukhsin” what-nots?

For one thing I find this scenario repetitive as it keeps appearing in her movies (or ads) but mostly the reason why I find it hard to love her work is because I can’t seem to relate to it.

Now some of you might think that I am a keris-wielding Malay ultra who does not have friends of other races, hence I am unable to relate to Yasmin Ahmad’s movies. I admit that I wielded the keris before and there’s this absence of guilt in me nor do I have the urge to offer an apology about it, but I actually do have a healthy number of non-Malay friends.

Yet I do not have the urge to burn Chinese/Indian schools nor do I have a complex about ridiculing my own race to prove that I am truly Malaysian. Let’s just say I am like any normal Malay kid who went to a sekolah kebangsaan (national school), hung out with a lot of non-Malay friends (to this very day) and I have once in a blue moon fallen for a non-Malay girl (well, okay, maybe more than once). Yet as a person who supposedly went through that Malaysian experience I can’t seem to relate to Yasmin’s movies.

The first thing I learned when I first started hanging out with the Chinese boys in secondary school was how to curse fluently in Cantonese, so that picturesque Petronas ad where Malay, Chinese and Indian kids play and help each other and sing songs or what not, I never experienced that.

To me “Sepet” or “Gubra” is rather artificial; instead of mirroring what multiracial Malaysia is, it is what Malaysia should be in Yasmin’s imagination. There’s nothing wrong with that since that is what movies are all about.

And that goes not just for Yasmin’s movies, but a lot of those Merdeka ads and propaganda flicks featuring Ali, Ah Chong and Muthu. Look, when I was a kid my best friend was an Indian and trust me, we didn’t sing “Ikan di laut, asam di darat” together while fishing or have many romantic gay moments.

In fact, many times we had fist fights because one of us somehow made an over the top remark about the other’s father. We would kiss and make up the very next day just like any other kid and life went on. Of course, we grew up and went our separate ways but whenever I bump into him these days, we don’t serenade each other.

Look, to me Malaysia must not just be about Ali, Ah Chong and Muthu. Two Malay “pakciks” wearing kopiahs walking to the mosque for Maghrib prayers is Malaysia, as well as a bunch of Iban boys playing football, a Sikh man riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet, that yuppie who vehemently declares himself Malaysian yet can’t have a decent conversation in Bahasa Malaysia, or the stereotype that Malays smoke Dunhills while Chinese smoke Malboro lights.

The thing I notice is we Malaysians have this mindset and mental picture that Malaysia must be that picturesque scene where Ali, Ah Chong and Muthu do something together underneath a sappy slogan.

Of course the usual rabid fanboys would immediately go on the offensive by saying that it’s the brainwashing of Barisan Nasional albeit Umno, MCA, MIC propaganda — but trust me, if you look at Pakatan Rakyat posters or events you will see the very same thing. A ceramah will have three speakers — a Malay, Chinese and Indian. Political propaganda in Malaysia lacks creativity, I tell you.

I guess what I am trying to say is that perhaps the very reason why we have this problem when it comes to unity amongst Malaysians is that we have this artificial idealistic mental image that we try again and again to enforce on society.

Instead of accepting who we are and cultivating unity in more natural ways, we opt for something that is rather foreign. To make my point clear, unity is not just about Ali and Ah Chong walking together holding hands singing songs. Unity is when Ali and Ah Chong fight not because of race, religion but rather because they both wanted the last cookie in the jar. Unity is when Ali is friends with Ah Chong not because he is Chinese, rather because they both love football. I hope you get my idea.

It’s like that Petronas ad where Tan Hong Ming, who is probably eight or nine years old, has this crush on this Malay girl. Which is fine, but if I remember correctly eight-year-old boys dislike girls, as girls are yucky and annoying. Instead, young boys usually have crushes on their teachers instead. If it were my ad, Tan Hong Ming would have had a crush on his teacher.

Sinatra_Z - Bang Subuh

Dah lama dah Lipas menyepi,
memang betul-betul lipas sepi ni. Baru-baru ni sibuk sangat menulis untuk sana dan sini sampai hilang masa nak menulis untuk diri sendiri. Sejak dua menjak ni hati rasa macam resah sedikit,
barangkali sebabya dah lama tak nukilkan kisah terus dari hati sendiri.

Apa-apa pun tempoh hari ada melepak dengan rakan minum kopi sambil mendengar forum selamatkan Gaza di PWTC tempoh hari maka terbukalah cerita kawan sorang ni.

Zam-Zam (bukan nama sebenar) teringat kisah dulu pergi sertai perkemahan motivasi lah.

Macam biasalah kem-kem ni kena bangun awak solat subuh ramai-ramai dekat astaka,
macam biasalah fasilitator akan mintak la sukarelawan untuk bang subuh.

Bang Subuh ni dia lain sikit dari biasa,
kengkawan sudah tolaklah mamat ni kedepan, rela tak rela terpaksalah bila utaz dah bagi "mike" kat tangan.

Kawan dengan terketar-ketarnya

"Awak boleh Azan subuh ye?"

"Bbbbooleh lah sssaya cuba"

"Ehh janganlah takut sangat, takpe, kalau tersilap sikit tu Ustaz betulkan, ok mulalah.."


"Allah huakbar..... Allah Huakbar....................... Allah Huakbar, Laaailaaa haillalah huallah huakbar.... Allah huakbar walillah ilhamd......"


Ah Sudah.


Tu takpe lagi, ada sekali tu kawan lagi sorang ni bang subuh masa kem lah jugak, boleh pulak terkeluar


"Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar. Asyhadu alla illahaillallah. Asyhadu anna Muhammadar rasulullah. Haiyaalas solah Haiyaalal falah. Qadqamatis solah Qadqamatis solah. Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar. La ilahaillallah."

Sekali keluar Qamat daa.....

Sinatra_Z - Lagu Buat Isteri Tercinta

Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera dan salam satu Malaysia kembali lagi saya yang hilang sebentar akibat dari serangan selsema, batuk dan angin kus kus. Sesungguhnya terdetik lagi hati Tan Sri untuk menulis satu nukilan pada malam Jumaat ini khas buat pasangan-pasangan yang telah berkahwin di luar sana. Sesungguhnya cinta itu indah, cinta itu penyatuan hati antara dua insan yang saling memahami, menyayangi dan mempunyai kesamaan. Memang banyak pasangan bercinta namun dalam banyak-banyak pasangan bercinta dari “awek-balak”, “steady couple” , “scandal” hinggalah kepada “teman tapi mesra” sesungguhnya cinta yang paling indah antara dua insan ialah cinta yang diikat dengan tali ikatan yang sah yakni pasangan suami-isteri.

Sinatra_Z - Keris and the Chinese Blood (Original Title)

So what was that about the keris and Chinese blood?

http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/opinion/article/so-what-was-that-about-the-keris-and-chinese-blood/

June 24, 2010

JUNE 24 — Malaysian politicians say the darndest things. So says a book by Amir Muhammad recollecting some of the most infamous and inglorious quotes ever spewed by our politicians.

Looking at our political scenario I wasn’t at all surprised when he managed to compile two volumes of it, and looking at how things are going now perhaps a third book is on the way. It includes some of the most epic (fail or win) quotes like:



“Malaysian men are easy to service, (their) libido lasts only five minutes. A shorter period would mean more customers and that makes it more lucrative for the sex workers to conduct their activities here.” (Dr Khir Toyo, Malay Mail 14th February 2003)

As much as I would like to rebut his statement or even query how he managed to get that fact (experience perhaps) judging by the number of ads hanging by the road which have taglines like “Ubat Lelaki Kuat” and the large market for “Tongkat Ali” beverages, I would have to admit there is some truth in what he said. Perhaps if there was an Olympic event for it, we’d probably have our very own Usain Bolt, nine seconds flat baby!

However, there is one quote that is conspicuously missing and it involves our current prime minister. There are many stories on the Internet when it comes to the current PM, from photoshopped pictures of him and a deceased Mongolian model (published by an MP amazingly) to the alleged statutorial declaration in which he is actually a Hindu and not a Muslim. Now one of the most infamous stories involving Najib Tun Razak allegedly said “Bathe the keris with Chinese blood” at a rally in Kampung Baru during the heydays of 1987 to 1989. Now indeed this is quite serious. Imagine a prime minister of Malaysia who is supposed to be the leader of all Malaysians uttering such a sentence for political gain.

So why is it not mentioned in Amir Muhammad’s book? Or will it be featured in the third volume?

How did it surface?

If I am not mistaken it was first mentioned by Raja Petra Kamaruddin in one of his articles (http://mt.m2day.org/2008/content/view/12512/84/).

From then on it was picked up by several people and somehow it became a fact and by that I mean it was mentioned (until recently) in Wikipedia. Apart from dodgy Internet sources and an encyclopedia open for editing by anonymous users, this alleged quote was also recently featured in the Hulu Selangor by-election.

In a speech (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9Jg7Xm1C6I) made by former Perak MB Nizar Jamaluddin at Kuala Kubu Baru: “Itu Najib, sikalang dia jadi satu Peldana Menteli satu Malaysia, itu hali masa dia jadi Najib Pemuda Umno, sana stadium di kampung baru dia bagitau sama Pemuda

“Umno Melayu, dia angkat itu Umno punya keris itu karat punya keris tada pakai sikalang, itu chinwu (??) stadium dia cakap kita mesti basahkan keris ini dengan darah cina, ni siapa cakap itu? Najib! And then dia boleh kata kita mesti bajirkan pekan Kuala Lumpur dengan darah Cina.”

Apart from the bizarre Apek slang by Nizar Jamaluddin, either he was thinking the KKB folks can’t understand proper Malay or his BM oratory skill has been deteriorating lately,

there was some inaccuracy in his statement such as the “keris” which he was referring to. If indeed it is the keris of Pemuda Umno, which is known as “Keris Panca Warisan”, it did not exist during Najib’s Pemuda Umno days. The Pemuda Umno keris “Panca warisan” was first unveiled during the “reign” of Pemuda Chief Hishamuddin Hussein.

Between fact and fiction

So did Najib really say that? Let us do some homework and differentiate between fact and fiction. First and foremost, there is not a single reference point apart from some blogs or Malaysia Today article.

There are no links, newspaper cuttings or quotations from the year 1987 to 1989. Now the thing is, this is during the heated days of Operasi Lalang so if indeed Najib said those words at an open rally, it would most definitely have been mentioned in the papers.

If some were to argue that it was not reported by the mainstream media then at least it would have been mentioned by the Chinese papers. It would have been on the front page especially when Chinese politicians were at loggerheads with young Umno right wing politicians then.

Secondly this issue has actually been brought up in Parliament by none other than DAP chairman Karpal Singh. On 15th June 2009, Karpal Singh did pose a question in Parliament about whether Najib Tun Razak uttered those words and whether he was ready to issue an apology to the Chinese community.

“If it was true, are you prepared to ask for forgiveness from the Chinese community?”Najib replied: “The incident did not take place. I have never said that. The one who should apologise is the YB concerned, not me.” (Malay Mail June 17, 2009)

“I wanted to know if he said it, and he gave his answer, let’s just leave it as it is, the matter should not go on further,” Karpal said. (Malay Mail June 17, 2009)

If anyone would be kind enough to point out to me any credible links, articles or sources please do so because failure to do so means that after all this while, some of these Pakatan Rakyat politicians have been fanning racial tensions by quoting misinformation for the sake of politics.

Operasi Lalang

Now based on the absence of proof and the statement by Karpal Singh, one has to wonder what incident triggered Operasi Lalang? Now we know there was no threat with the keris, but if there is one thing that we are very sure of it’s that there was indeed a mammoth rally and it was that rally which triggered Operasi Lalang. Interestingly enough I found an interesting article which says:

“UMNO Education Minister Anwar Ibrahim announced the holding of a mammoth rally in KL to celebrate its 41st Anniversary, which it was claimed would see the attendance of half a million members. The proposed UMNO rally was the ostensible reason for the Inspector General of Police to precipitate the 27 October crackdown. Had the rally been held it was not improbable that racial riots could be sparked by the incendiary speeches of UMNO politicians.” (Aliran Monthly, 1988, Vol. 8:3)

Please note that it was taken from Aliran Monthly, a magazine which is quite known to be pro-DAP.

Fiction: Najib said “To Bathe the Keris with Chinese Blood”

Fact : Anwar Ibrahim triggered Ops Lalang.

Not happy with my logical deductions? Write to Aliran then!

Conclusion

The thing is racial politics is fanned by both parties in this nation. It is sad to think that our politicians and MPs base their speeches on baseless accusations with racial overtones. The thing is we Malaysians are a lazy lot, we take what is being said at fiery “ceramah” as the truth without even bothering to check its validity.

This leads to the popularity of politicians who give speeches not based on facts but rather on what can give the most fiery and entertaining moments.

While some may wonder if indeed our PM uttered those words, there is no denying Umno was fanning the racial fire back then. I admit that indeed back then there were some Umno leaders who were very racist. But we have learned from our mistakes and have gotten rid of those politicians who refer to non-Malays as “pendatang.”

And for the sake of reference and historical accuracy, here is the link ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6V7EGbbrtk ) in which racial politics was rampant in Umno’s heydays in Biro Tata Negara.

Sinatra_Z - Ketika Aku Kecil

Ketika saya kecil raksaksa dari angkasa lepas akan menyerang bumi (biasanya Tokyo) sekurang-kurangnya tiga kali seminggu. Nasib baik bumi mempunyai pasukan pertahanan yang handal seperti Ultraman Ace, Flashman dan Kesatria Baja Hitam. Selain dari menonton dengan penuh perasaan tentang nasib keselamatan bumi yang disiarkan oleh Radio Television Malaysia, saya juga bermain polis sentri,menangkap berudu di dalam longkang dan menggali petroleum di depan rumah.

Sinatra_Z - Origins of Father's day

2 Years ago I wrote this... Just felt like sharing it again.

Happy farter.. fathers days to all fathers out there including my father.

My father likes to fart and he used to play the infamous pull my finger joke when I was a kid. Someday when I become a dad I too would want to fart on my kids, that would be insanely fun.

Back to fathers day. Unlike the glamour of Mothers day where Oprah and Hallmark channel goes on a feminism frenzy fathers day usually goes by pretty calmly. Well this is not particularly the media's fault, hallmark and Oprah does go on a fathers day propaganda campaign but fathers in Malaysia are more busy with belching while watching Euro 2008/Worldcup 2010. While other fathers who areb't bothered by football are to busy worrying about fuel hike or politics.

Alas on father's day I would like to share with you a story, regarding the origins of father's day. Yes I read about it when I was a kid.

Fathers day is a holiday derived from an old Nordic tradition.

Once upon a time there was a Nordic viking king name Thor. Thor's name was taken in honour of the lightning god for the Nordic people. Like his name Thor was a very strong warrior king, when Thor was a young man he began a campaign to unite all of Scandinavia under his rule and with his ruthlessness and fighting ability he managed to achieve his dream.

Alas Scandianvia was at peace as there are no more war mongering warlords fighting each other trying to gain supremacy. One might thought everything was peaceful and pleasant but Thor was an evil and mean king. Apart from beating up random peasants while walking his wolf Thor would demand presents from all of his subjects once every year during his birthday. This day he declare was Thor's Day, and no one is to be excluded in giving presents on Thor's Day.

As the peaceful years gone by (hence no exercise) Thor kept on wining, dining and making love to his hairy Scandinavian wives. This activities has taken a toll on Thor's body. Thor once known for his solid rocky six pack now has a one cushioned wobbly One PACK stomach. Long gone are the sexy Scandinavian viking stud and now there's this Fat Lazy King. So the peasants now began to take a snipe on the viking king and began calling Thor's Day as Fat Thor's Day.


One day as Thor was strolling down a river he stumbled upon a bridge. On the other side was this handsome young Swede swordsman was already half way through the bridge. Since Thor is such a fat bastard one of them have to give way by getting off the bridge. Thor being a king ordered the Swede Swordsman back off to which the Young Swede refused. So they decided to have a duel right there on the bridge.

Sadly though Thor now was no longer that great of a warrior thanks the calories he gets by eating too much Elk meat. Hence during their intense sword fighting the Young Sweede accidentally cut off Thor's penis thus became what was known to be the first recorded Sex Change operation. So now not only did Thor lost his pride but also his family jewels.

Once news of this spread across the country peasants began to joke about it whether to call Thor a King or a Queen and as a result of that Fat Thor's Day was then changed to Fat Her's Day to coincide with the new status of the monarch.

And thus tells the history of Father's Day.